The holiday haze can linger. So can hang-overs. And the stench of Tara Reid after a 4 night bender. Actually, her stench just lingers period, bender or no bender.

Listen, the holidays were tough for us. We still haven’t recovered. Plus, that damn DW above whose Dad always talks about how big her huge tracts of land are ruined our dream of a Cowboys Superbowl victory (not really, but it’s more fun to blame her than say hands of stone Patrick Crayton or the offensive line’s decision to open up an HOV lane in the 4th quarter for oncoming defensive lineman. But we digress; this isn’t a sports blog, although searching for Office DW’s is kind of a sport).  Were still pissed that Ponch and John were apparently the only California Highway Patrolmen (“CHiP’s”; clever!) in the entire state that could ever apprehend anyone, yet they never got promoted. Think about it; they were never the first ones in pursuit; it was always Getraer or Bonnie or even that fat bastard Grossman, but they all eventually wrecked. Only Ponch and John ended up catching the bad guys. But do they get any thanks?? No! They just get guff from Getraer for not following procedure or for being too good at roller disco. What’s the bottom line you ask? This is just a really long way for us to say that we are lazy, and have no official monthly DW for January. But fear not gentle reader! We have a few more of the hottest women in the world that were recently hit over the head with blunt objects agreeing to our interviews, and you will see the hilarity that ensues on these pages over the next couple of months.

So in conclusion, remember that life was better when Ponch and John patrolled the streets, and F the Giants.